pre gamin' the oscars — Liz Lampton Communications

spoiler alert: it's gonna be a snoozefest unless aniston and pitt show.

hey y'all! i'm trying to do a little more writing, so i figured i'd channel some awards season thoughts for those of you who care, and by those of you, i mean people other than emmy and bryce who of course are Always On.

first of all you miss this. to paraphrase what good ole colonel jessup once said, deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you are BUMMED this didn't go the distance. and maybe you're all "leave jen alone!" but your skin crawled when she took john mayer to the oscars that time, you (i) got second hand embarrassment when she couldn't hack it in nyc with justin even though she bought THE FUCKING PENTHOUSE of that awesome pre war building on west 12th and hudson - LITERALLY WHO COULD NOT MAKE NEW YORK WORK IF THAT WAS YOUR APARTMENT IT OVERLOOKS ABINGDON SQUARE AND IS TWO BLOCKS FROM EVERY GREAT PLACE AND LESS THAN A BLOCK FROM THE BEST PHARMACY IN THE VILLAGE WHO ALSO SELLS BADESCU PRODUCTS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT - and you sure as hell thought of her the millisecond angie leaked all that stuff about brad smoking too much weed because you know he and jen loved a quality joint with their dogs in malibu (RIP Norman).

so don't lie like you haven't thought about it, because you totally have.

but unless they show...i predict a total eye roll emoji festival on sunday. TBH i really didn't even know when they were this year? i actually saw something this past saturday about the show and panicked and called emmy bc i was like wtf the oscars are tomorrow but then realized we had another week. but, like, it's just a weird year? when gwyneth and matt and ben and all those guys were winning (srsly why was it so poorly fitted?) it was for weinstein stuff which feels so insane now to think about, you know? but those were heady days! janice min was running US weekly and minnie driver was a little famous and sex and the city was on and we hadn't had 9/11 yet and robin williams and PSH and so many other amazing actors were still around and like, it was all fun and games kinda? oprah was the best part of the daily lexicon and no one knew the name of the chief of staff to the president much less that guy's deputy. RIP entertainment, amirite?

wanna have a moment? this is from the oscars in 2000. chris martin, ex husband of GP is now dating this child. life comes at ya fast.

speaking of oprah, she already stole/won the season at the globes? my take on hollywood's position on social issues is likely ~controversial~ with some of you, but like, i am sort of old-fashioned when it comes to that stuff. like, i admire george clooney's interest and support of refugee causes and think he landed a totally baller wife because of how well-rounded he truly is, but also, save me the speech on darfur and make another ocean's movie because i'm not sure i'll watch the one with all the women and sidebar congrats on the tequila cash i have helped put in your and rande's pocket? idk. it's neat that equality is getting a mainstream moment but i think so much of the real progress on that stuff can be made at home, within family units, and maybe not because now reese and nicole are BFFs and got the timing on a novel adaptation really really right? i just sort of love fancy dresses, hot people, seeing people smoke cigs inside the vanity fair party*, and a rom com every now and then. is that too much to ask? and is lady bird on demand yet? i will do it, but i prefer to sob in private!

so obvs i'll watch. but my focus will be the red carpet, scanning the VF party pics, ignoring jennifer lawrence, and i'm betting i'm in bed by the time that big ones get handed out. unless brad and jen both show. single.

thanks for reading! and if, like amal, you're a fan of support both casamigos tequila AND refugees you can donate to the wonderful work of my best buddy's org the IRC right here.

*will that change now that graydon is gone? paging EHW.