dylan mckay and all of us

i saw a thing on instagram today that said “guys; if you have a wife or girlfriend who was a teenager during the 90s, check in on her today. we are not ok.” man, ain’t that the truth!

i’ve written before about why the death of some people we never “knew” can still feel BIG.

it was announced today that luke perry has died. what a sad, tragic thing for all those who loved and knew him, his children, and the people who were a part of his short life i read a lot today about what a kind, normal guy he was. he owned some property in the south and there were pictures of him pitching in during some storms, and just being a regular person, not fancy, and humble. that is so nice to hear about hollywood types, you know?

so, why does this one hit home?

maybe like me, you were really really really into 90210. you loved the “gang” - though hated AHN-drea, natch - and connected with your friends through all of them. or maybe you picked it up in college and crowded around a big-ass tv in the dorm room with your new friends who maybe you were nervous to get to know, but you could always talk about 9-0! or maybe, you are under 30 and watch riverdale. see yourself to the door if you are the latter, tbh.

but for those who get it. YOU GET IT. when he rolled out from under that damn car at the walshes, episode one, you crushed with brenda. you had your own crush! and your teeth weren’t as bad as hers so like MAYBE I HAVE A SHOT JUST MAYBE.

he was so smooth! i cannot even describe it now, but like, he also wasn’t cheesy? he was just A COMPLETE SMOKE SHOW. the eyebrow? forget it! heart still skips a beat for it.

we could all identify with those people, despite the BMWs and nose job talk. i mean, i could always hold my booze better than donna, but yeah, that was a thing at prom for sure. carol walsh and her laura ashley get-up at the fashion show wasn’t as cool as jackie, but damn my mom doesn’t have a coke problem, ya know! life ain’t so bad! whew! david was different (let’s just ignore college david altogether) and emily valentine was in every school (ours was named jackie barrett at country day - still convinced our parents pooled together funds to have her and her family relocate out of savannah), and grandparents aging and smoking pot and getting into college and saying goodbye to the high school boyfriends all happened to them AND us. it was a weirdly innocent show looking back on it. i mean, look, i never dated anyone who lived in a hotel or anything, but you know what i mean. it was a PG-13 show in pretty much PG homes, and it just really sunk in.

do we need to even talk about the walk in the park where kelly and dylan told brenda what they did? to this day i am not sure i cried more than when he came home and saw toni’s wedding dress hanging after her accidental shooting. as my sister said today, “THE RAIN.” we wanted him to go to college, we felt awful about the car bomb, we hated when he got mixed up with val, and i mean, did nat ever say you’re welcome for bailing out the PP? (nat was actually a terrible businessman, tbh.)

so much of this is nostalgia, i think. remembering the den upstairs in my parents house where i watched so much. giggling about how my sister and i re-watched the series from the top while we waited for ed to come. the only time we sat on those sofas in gorgas. appointment television! try explaining that to your children! it was a simpler time, and dylan was a classic for that era.

so. maybe it seems silly or high school-y the way you felt today. but it hit home, y’all! is this how my mom felt the day elvis died? (on her wedidng anniversary, to boot! pound for pound, my dad swore that was the saddest he ever saw her, for the record). end of an era, a crush you’ll never be able to explain to young people, and a face that will always make you think of a time when you, too, were more innocent and had so much to learn.

my texts, DMs, and insta were just full of thoughts today, so i thought i would share mine. rest in peace, dylan. you were our coming of age guy, and we will always remember you. xoxo

ps - kate mckenna, i’m pouring one out with ya for mr mad bad and dangerous to know tonight.