gameda
don't you kinda feel that right about now these two be like:
kate's like imma put this pump to good use, william is all NOW THAT WAS A WEEK with harry at the hotel bar, and maria is on full alert it's gonna be a late one.
there are a million little and big things that have happened this week to make tomorrow's big event JUICY, and boy do my text messages prove it. this is one of those times where i am EXTRA glad to be a girl and not a boy. QB wouldn't even let us talk about it at dinner last night and actually REQUESTED tabling the wedding as a topic in advance of our reservation. (he has two daughters so joke's on him.)
i have heard from lots of you wanting to know what i think (SO MUCH, I THINK SO VERY VERY MUCH RN), am i gonna write something, etc so because of my schedule this weekend i thought i'd go ahead and ramble a little here now. the excitement is palpable! so welcome to my inner monologue...poor you!
ON THE DRAMA
soooooooooooooo. did i watch the lifetime movie? yes. yes, i did. did my sister download some sort of subscription to lifetime? because she is a cord cutter and doesn't have cable? so it was the only way for her to watch it? no comment, you'd have to speak to carr about that.
this week shows everyone why no one should ever pass judgment on another person's family. errrrrybody got that one cousin/step/inlaw etc. i don't care who you are. look, hers was not exactly hard to find, but man, this is some eleventh hour stuff thomas and co have pulled. how bout the family that is not included but just went ahead and booked a trip anyway. you know, the people with all the luggage and the equivalent of NY1 guest "commentator" roles for the weekend. L-O-freaking L. i bet anyone who reads this knows EXACTLY who in their family would cause them problems should they find themselves on the verge of becoming a princess. text your sibling right now who would fuck up YOUR royal wedding.
don't you KNOW doria is about ready to murder thomas? she's probably been like I KNEW YOU WOULD PULL THIS SHIT THIS IS WHY WE DIDN'T LAST all week.
charles is NOT "giving her away." that's actually not even really what a man walking a woman down the aisle is actually all about. i am a super dork about anglican church things, so i won't bore you all, but please note that the palace statement on charles "stepping in" was specific to just the quire. ie the midway point to the altar. which means she enters the church SOLO - up the stairs UNESCORTED - and through the nave on her own. then, chuckles escorts her for the second half of her overall aisle walk. the primary royal guests (ie the good seats up front not the folding chairs) will see him with her, which is pretty rich, like she is bucking tradition to some degree but not in front of the church ladies if you know what i mean. there are some reports that charles is only walking her to where she will be standing with harry but that really is not how it's supposed to go AT ALL. someone, i presume that charles, FOLLOWING THE PROTOCOL OF THE PRAYER BOOK, is going to take her hand and give it to the archbishop. that's the entire point. if that does not happen, especially given the fact she was confirmed in the church a couple of months ago, it will be the biggest scandal of the day.
in all seriousness, as LK pointed out this morning, can you imagine having a 600-person wedding and having ONE family member present? it's sad! it would be a huge, huge red flag for me if i were harry.
an overall note is that things just get elevated around family moments like this. funerals, weddings, hell, i've been stressed at a christening before, they'll be fine. it'll all be all right for a little bit, at least. just get through the day, guys. it's just a day! (they should have eloped!)
MY QUESTIONS (AND SOME OF YOURS):
is james all "i'm not lookin' so bad after all eh?" to kate right about now?
what will kate drink night of? related: what time will she start drinking?
does the nose ring remain in on the MOB? (this is foremost on the mind of BB and Carr as well)
do pippa's hubs and will text?
the #1 best moment of william and kate's wedding is when he - LOOKING LITERALLY IDENTICAL TO DIANA - first is side by side with kate and tells her she looks beautiful in such a real, shy, way. i could cry typing it, it is so normal and authentic and sweet. the #2 best moment though was when harry looks back and sees her and is grinning and is like "dude, wait til you see her" to his brother. i just don't think there has been the time to forge such cuteness and closeness with MM. and that makes me sad! will make their eventual divorce, sorry it's just my opinion, easier in a weird way though, i guess? again, just get through the day, team.
who takes charlotte and george home? maria? baby nurse with louis?
how many assistants will the photographer have?
will meghan drink? i swear if i were her, i don't know if i would.
is bonnie hammer in attendance?
has kate seen meghan's dress?
will meghan's wedding band be (my fave) just the thin, welsh gold band like kate's?
what's trevor engleson doing tomorrow?
did they secretly pre-shoot some pics? that would track.
what color will the queen wear? related/RIP Judes: what's in her purse?
is princess eugenia probably just like whatever dude, my thing is gonna be a BREEZE. uh-oh....what will meghan wear to that?!?! one day at a time, wasden.
how are photos/the social media policy enforced? are they?
what i would kill for
the text chain of kate, pippa, and carole.
this month's data usage for kate, pippa, and carole, as well as chelsey and cressida.
to have seen will's face when he saw kate for the first time at the end of the day that thomas had his rollercoaster with TMZ.
the bar tab of william and harry tonight.
wallis simpson to be alive rn.
the seating chart.
to watch the wedding at home in pj's with sarah burton.
harvey levin's data usage from the past seven days.
the text chain of fergie and her girls.
the convo wills and harry had about wearing a wedding band vs not.
total number of hours spent polishing silver this month by the windsor staff.
pantyhose or no pantyhose for the bride?
has james hewitt been in touch with harry? (if you get this reference you will know where i stand on harry's paternity)
cressida's texts with her friends who weren't invited.
chelsey's texts with her friends who weren't invited.
will DJT watch and if he does will he tweet?
ok gang....signing off for now. tip of the iceberg! long live the monarchy....and carole middleton!
