why i celebrate my sister on a day that is not her birthday

today is march 7. it is no one's birthday in my family, but it is a date that is forever ingrained in my mind. i wrote this email to carr and my parents in 2009 (praise you gmail storage): 

tomorrow is march 7. do you know what that is? that is the day we thought you would be born!

it was the magic date that i was told all about, and i listened to mommy and daddy as they told me after that day i would have a little brother or sister. every year when i see this day on the calendar, the excitement -- power tripping even at an early age that i would get to be the big sis! -- is still palpable to me, even now. clearly you and your cheeks couldn't bear to wait that long!

if i had only known then that once you arrived, my life -- forever -- would be that much better. i could have never predicted as we waited for you to grow in mama's belly that you would be such a wonderful, important addition to the life i would lead someday. having a sister, someone i love, someone i admire, and a person i genuinely think is funny, smart, and wonderful to be around, has made me a happier, healthier, more well-rounded person. we are so lucky to have each other, for a number of reasons beyond just our family.

i am so happy you came to us, to me, no matter the day.

and thank you mama and daddy for bringing her to us. of the many gifts you have given me through the years, she remains the best present of all.

love, bissy xo

so, yep, i guess i celebrate my mom's due date for carr.  if you have a sibling, you know no other way of life. you always had to share, you were annoyed or the annoy-er, you've bitched about SOMEONE to them at least once but more likely infinity, and, more often than not, when something is really really funny or really really sad, they're in your top five calls.

i still mean and feel every word of what i wrote back then, and i have learned so much more since i reflected that day: about the true depth and core goodness of WAW III and also his use of fax machines (who knew?); about my sister in LIFE NOT JUST LAW anna, who met me for the first time when i was four years old on the very day my parents were taking me to dinner at elizabeth's to tell me that i was going to be a big sister; about the man my sister married and his gift to our family - no, not only upping our height average, but his present, steady calm; and about carr, of course, and just how long a text message chain can go on, undeleted, in this life. 

they shape who we are, they are the supporting and at times main character in the stories of our lives, and they're the only people who see you and get you and really are going to stick around despite it all. i have experienced loss in my life, but never have i felt as sad as the day i saw a man i barely knew stand at the lectern of saint john's and speak of his brother, my friend, tragically lost in a plane crash. that wound will never heal, and in think of those brothers in my prayers all the time. 

woof! sorry to bring it down! so...if you haven't talked to yours in a while, shoot off that text or call them on your commute home tonight. because siblings not only teach us how to compromise, love unconditionally, and give us our first official "Feedback," they become wonderful friends, and who knows - like ashley and dow and bill's storied tale, they might even help you meet your husband. 

love the ones you're with, folks! (and tell 'em so)

oh, and carr's birthday is february 24, eleven days early, and my mother would want you to know she "did not so much as have even a tylenol." 

goodbye! (from ed)